Ya know what? Cherrie found some old, nasty, freezer-burned pork chops that sat in the freezer for like a million years.
Now, I know what yer thinkin’! Ya would have thought she’d stick those ugly old things in the garbage. Right?! I mean, any sensible human would’ve thrown those suckers to the curb.
But she got this new-fangled gadget for her birthday, called a programmable 7-in-1 pressure cooker.
Don’t start shakin’ in your shoes, cuz nowadays the pressure cookers don’t blow up the house like they did in the old days.
“Clunk.” The frozen hodgepodge of ancient pork chops hit the bottom of the pressure cooker. Ya woulda thought a boulder was dropped from a 10-story building or somethin’.
Then the crazed woman poured on some chicken stock. Don’t ask me how much. I know I’m brilliant and stuff, but this cookin’ stuff isn’t my thing. As you know from my other posts, my thing is diggin’. And trust me, I’m the world’s best digger!
So anyway, then the woman threw in some Montreal Steak Seasoning from what she calls the Mothership. (That’s her pet name for Costco.)
She says Montreal Steak Seasoning is good for anything, except deodorant. Don’t try it on the old arm pits.
Then the crazy chick sprinkled those ancient pork chops with salt.
She pushed some buttons on this new-fangled pressure cooker.
An hour later, “Poof!” Out came these melt-in-your-mouth pork chops.
An absolute miracle! I figured the little buggers would taste like smelly, leather shoes. But no, absolutely delicious.
Just thinkin’ about the meat makes me drool, then I wanna take a nap. Kinda like humans after Thanksgiving. Know what I mean?